[022] Frustration

Swim: 1,000 m/12,400 m

Bike: 0/14.35 miles

Run: 0/25.1 miles

After several sessions of steady improvement this week, tonight’s swim almost seemed like a wasted effort. It was one of those workouts where nothing seems to come together, and the more your attempts are met with failure, the more frustrated you get, creating a cycle than can only be broken by throwing in the towel and trying again later.

It started off well enough, with a few laps of breaststroke to warm up. But after that I swam 700 meters of freestyle during which I just didn’t seem to be able to put together the pieces I’ve learned in the past week. My breathing was the main issue – I just couldn’t seem to get enough air, which caused my form to suffer. I would seem to hit it right on every third or fourth lap, and those little flashes of success are what kept me going for 28 laps.

I ended my workout with 200 meters of fast breast stroke – both to burn off some of the frustration that had been building and to feel like I actually got some kind of workout tonight.

I’m trying to keep things in perspective – I only started swimming freestyle less than a week ago, so I can only expect so much improvement in that amount of time. I wonder if I was actually any worse today than before – maybe I have been mentally building up my expectation for success a little too much and it’s outpacing the reality of my ability. My last swim was almost three days ago, and since then I have spent a lot of time thinking about swimming and envisioning a successful triathlon.

I knew at the beginning that swimming would be the hardest part of this entire effort. I need to tell myself that it’s OK to have setbacks, as long as I don’t let them hold me back. I need to walk away, refocus myself and then attack it head-on with renewed vigor. I have no doubt that I’m going to become a swimmer, and setbacks like tonight’s will only make me push harder to make it happen.

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